The Death of Bakugou Katsuki
by Rxel
Summary: Katsuki stands at Izuku's gravestone. Alternate ending of Quirks of the Soul (After Chapter 8) Can be read alone.


Where Izuku Dies After Chapter 8 Instead of Waking Up

Katsuki stood in front of the lonely gravestone. It looked so simple. Deceptively simple, considering the physical body that was housed inside it. It had been overrun from the weed and little flowers that had taken the time to grow there, keeping the stone company in his absence.

Part of him wanted to pull the weeds away, but that would leave the tombstone empty and bereft of company. Instead, he bent down to wipe the stone clean from any dust or dirt that might have piled up while he was away. He didn't visit all that often, not because he didn't care, but because he cared all too much. How could be bring himself to visit Izuku's grave when he was the one who had caused his death?

His eyes traced the words etched on the stone. He chose the phrase himself. He'd done Izuku a disservice while he was alive. He wanted to at least make sure that Izuku was at peace in death. Would he be happy knowing he never left his thoughts? Even when he was in a fight, thoughts about Izuku seemed to be on a low simmer at the back of his mind.

" _Gone, but never forgotten. Love was your everything. Death snatched you from the land of the Living and your time on Earth was too short, but you will always be loved._ "

Katsuki felt his breath hitch as a lone tear made its way down his cheek. He told himself he didn't have any right to cry, since he was the one who had pushed things this far, but his body wasn't listening to his instructions. He was mildly surprised he still had tears left inside him. The blonde ex-Hero gave a hollow laugh, sinking down on his knees before the gravestone. It seemed like even after all these years, his body was still more honest that he allowed himself to be.

He honestly thought that perhaps, Izuku might have pulled through. He'd thought, maybe, he could have a chance at righting his wrongs, but of course, the world wouldn't give him that satisfaction. He'd have gotten off too lightly if that happened.

They said, his heart seems to have stopped with no plausible reason whatsoever, considering they had managed to get enough blood into him in time. Later, the nurse confided in him that it seems Izuku died of a broken heart. They couldn't do anything if the person himself didn't want to keep on living.

The blonde felt the hot, searing stab of pain the thought brought him. The guilt never left. His pain would never heal, and Izuku would always be gone. Katsuki had been living an empty life. He couldn't muster much enthusiasm to keep on living. He wanted Izuku. He gave a self-deprecating laugh. It was true that you never knew what you were missing until it was gone. He didn't know when his feelings for Izuku had developed from the guilt into love, but it had happened.

The little notebooks left in his house, filled with his thoughts and his devotion for Katsuki. The books about the Midoriya's Quirk. The sole picture of Katsuki and Izuku that had been framed and placed beside his empty bed, the notebooks filled with data analysis on Heroes and Villains that he had hoped would help Katsuki. The little things added up. Oh, Katsuki knew love, but he realized it too late. How could he not fall in love with Izuku? The pureness and sincerity seeped into the very words almost seemed to leap off the pages at him.

Katsuki had been, and still was, all too willing to suffer whatever torment it would take if it meant that he could go back in time to let Izuku live on, but he couldn't change the past. These days, he even thought that if he could, he'd go back in time and kill his younger self before he caused any harm to Izuku. Maybe then, Izuku would have lived on. Maybe then he would have lived his life to the fullest, with a Soulmate that would have cherished him for who he really was, and not a fucking piece of shit like _Katsuki_.

The thought broke something in him. The cascade of tears that made its way down his face was all too familiar to him. After years of tears, he'd finally ended up learning how to be silent when he cried. The tears never stopped stinging, and he took consolation in the fact that he felt pain for even the slightest bit of atonement.

Katsuki felt like he was choking on tears. It was Izuku's death anniversary today. He would've been twenty-nine by now, if he was still alive. But he would forever remain at the painfully young age of fourteen forever because of Katsuki's years of unending torments. He pressed his nails into his palms, feeling slightly relieved at the pain that flared up.

The blonde ex-Hero shakily pulled his phone from his back pocket. He dialled Izuku's number, eyes falling shut as the call went into voicemail.

" _You've reached the voicemail of Midoriya Izuku. Please leave a message. I'll get back to you as soon as I can!_ "

The tears blurred his vison as he listened to Izuku's voice that had been unbroken from puberty. He could hear a slight smile in Izuku's voice, as well as an underlying sadness. A sob ripped out from his throat, causing him to break his quiet vow of silence. Every month, he paid for Izuku's phone bill. It was the only way he could hear Izuku's voice again.

Katsuki buried his face into his hands, unable to stop himself from crying. Izuku hadn't deserved anything he'd done to him. He should have been smiling happily, with someone who would have returned those little looks of adoration with their own. Katsuki desperately wished that someone had been him, but it was too late. He'd made mistakes, caused pain, caused despair.

Trembling fingers dialled the number to his own voicemail. He managed to stop his tears for the time being, not wanting to miss a word. It came in a month after Izuku passed. He'd already listened to it countless times and memorized every word, but he wanted to hear Izuku's voice. Hear the pain hidden deep in his voice that felt like a stab to the abdomen every time he heard it in hopes that his suffering could be even the slightest bit of redemption for every harsh word that left his mouth.

" _Kacchan – listen. I don't blame you. I never have. Please, please. Chase your dreams and reach for the stars. Become a Hero. Don't let my passing have any effect on your dreams. Maybe, if you're feeling guilty, then you can be a Hero and save the people that I could never have saved. I – I don't know if leaving this voice message for you will do anything for you, but if it does, then please don't blame yourself. If it doesn't, then just take it as the mad ramblings from a fan and delete this."_ Izuku's voice hitched, and he let out an almost inaudible sob. " _I l–love you, Kacchan. Goodbye._ "

Another harsh sob escaped him as he listened to Izuku's words. He missed him so much. _He loved him so much._ But they would forever be separated from the chasm of life and death.

Katsuki's breath caught as the thought wormed its way into his mind incessantly. He couldn't get rid of it. It had been haunting him for years now, but he had never acted on it. Not because he didn't want to, but because Izuku had wanted him to be a Hero. A Hero that would help selflessly, help unconditionally.

A fresh wave of tears forced their way out of his tear ducts. He'd done it, hadn't he? He had done his best as a Hero, throwing himself into rescuing people, day and night, only resting when it had become too much for his body to handle.

But now, he was useless. He was already twenty-eight, and injuries weren't healing so fast anymore. He had so many injuries, both latent and not. He'd been asked to retire as a frontline Hero because they weren't sure if his body would hold out on him or not. He'd tried _so hard_ , and he was _so_ tired. He wanted to rest. He wanted to see Izuku again, maybe hold him in his arms, and tell him everything that he missed while he was gone. He wanted to make up for his sins, wanted to make them better, wanted to give Izuku the love that he deserved.

So, Katsuki decided. Perhaps it was time. Katsuki quickly typed out and sent a delayed message to his friends and family that would send around a day's time later. He got up from his kneeling position and cleared away the little weeds and flowers from Izuku's grave. He placed them behind the gravestone. He couldn't quite bring himself to dispose of them, seeing as they had kept Izuku company while he couldn't.

The blonde ex-Hero touched the cool stone gently, tracing the words. Then, he took out the razor that had last kissed Izuku's wrists and once again soaked them in blood. The sharp blade, maintained by him throughout the years, sank into the delicate skin on his wrist, cutting the artery. He repeated the process on the other wrist, cradling the razor on his hands.

The deep cuts were oozing out copious amounts of red liquid that had been running through his veins only moments earlier. They were steadily making their way down to the floor, and Katsuki pressed gentle lips to his wrists, imagining he could have done that to Izuku's.

His breaths were coming faster. Blood was steadily draining from his wrists, pooling on the floor. He trembled, feeling a sense of peace wash over him. He hadn't felt so at peace with himself for a long time now. Not since Izuku left. He took a little comfort that he would be going out the same way Izuku went.

Katsuki breathed heavily, the tears that had disappeared during the process of his suicide preparation came back at the sheer relief that he felt flooding through is veins. It was almost like a drop of relief was replacing every drop of blood that was leaving his body. As more blood drained, the more relief he felt.

He tried to stand up, but he wobbled and crashed to the ground. His cheek kissed cold stone, and he knew that he should be feeling pain, but the only thing he could feel was numbness.

The blonde ex-Hero reached up to trace the words on Izuku's gravestone, but he paused on seeing the crimson that was running on his fingers. He hesitated before running them through the words anyway. He didn't want to dirty Izuku's gravestone, but he also wanted to be close to him. To leave some sort of lasting mark on Izuku's grave.

He pressed a bloody handprint to the stone, sighing in satisfaction at the clear mark it left. There was something said about his possessiveness when he wanted to claim Izuku even in death.

He could see a few black spots now. Katsuki's red eyes traced over the words left on Izuku's gravestone countless times before he could feel his life slipping away. He thought about how he would reunite with Izuku in death, and maybe they would be able to rebuild their earlier friendship. He loved him. Katsuki let out a few more tears of pure unadulterated happiness. It dropped into the puddle of red, creating ripples.

He loved him.

It was too late.

I love you, Izuku.

Wait for me.

I'm coming.

And then, nothing.


End file.
